There are times when we disconnect from the present and recall a moment from the past which captured every essence of our being and redefined our sense of purpose. In its simplicity, this moment stripped us of our human responsibilities, letting us react by instinct alone. We were trapped in a snare of time, reminded of how we should "grasp our one necessity and not let go." It is a moment such as this that Annie Dillard discusses in her essay, "Living Like Weasels." She vividly recalls a surprise encounter she had with a weasel in a place where she goes "frankly, to forget how to live." This "ten inch long, muscled ribbon," with "two black eyes," managed to weasel his way, as only a weasel knows how, inside her mind and locked his teeth into the jugular of her brain. He held on instinctively, and for "sixty seconds" Dillard tuned into his mind's frequency and listened to the "tape" playing in his head. For a moment, she was a weasel and understood the meaning of "yielding to necessity." She had a taste of what it might be like to "live any way we want," and not worry about the consequences of our choices. As humans we don't have the freedom to live like a weasel; however, when we find our purpose we should bite into its arm with the same uncompromising clarity and tenacity as the weasel did to the naturalist Dillard spoke of.

A weasel wakes up everyday, never knowing or consciously planning what he will do, for he relies upon his inborn senses. A weasel does what his instinct tells him to do. When he kills, he kills for the sake of survival and doesn't think twice about what or whom he is sinking his teeth into. Dillard describes an incident which captures the perseverance of this creature in death as he dangles from the strong jaws of an eagle while sinking his own into the bird's throat. It was as if he knew of nothing else to do than strike back instead of being carried away in submission. In our nature, some of us would have chosen to go limp and second guess the outcome of our situation. Others would have done what the weasel did, not thinking of anything but the moment. If Dillard had a chance to relive her one minute with the weasel, she would "have gone for the throat" and "held on," grasping the fur under his chin, and lived the necessities of a weasel because she is intrigued by such a carefree and uncomplicated existence. She wants to be free of the inhibitions her upbringing and society have burdened her with. She comes to the pond to "forget about life," but the weasel entices her to think instead about how she could change it. It is as though she had forgotten how to live. Perhaps sometime long ago she had known, but over time life had become too complicated. Over time, biases are created and motives do not always remain pure. She saw in the weasel an opportunity to recapture that wildness within her which was tamed by doubt, fear, and regret, the burdens of memory and the awareness of choices we wish we had made but didn't.

What does it mean to be truly wild? To live like the weasel does, living in a den, sleeping for days, killing because it's necessary? Can a human being "very calmly go wild?" These are the kind of questions Dillard ponders after the rendezvous at Hollins Pond. She silently beckons the creature to come back and give her just one more glimpse of what it would be like,"noticing everything," and "choosing the given with a fierce and pointed will." She doesn't think she "can learn from a wild animal how to live in particular." She doesn't want to be like a weasel in the literal sense, but instead wants to learn a lesson from him that could make her life more passionately simple. "The weasel lives in necessity and we live in choice." If only we could learn to incorporate some of its "mindlessness" into our lives, choosing what is most important to us and surrendering to wherever it leads. She contemplates what this way of life would be like and relishes in the wildness of it all, to grasp onto something instinctively and take it for all it's worth until there is nothing left to absorb. Perhaps the weasel had absorbed all he could out of Dillard and "painlessly" let go, disappearing "under the wild rose" by the pond, "remembering nothing" of Annie's "tape." It would be possible to "calmly go wild." We just have to release the animal instinct that lives deep down inside us, losing all of our human inhibitions to achieve our necessity. It wouldn't have to be forever, but just for a moment.

Some people spend most of their lives looking for their purpose in this world, and at times it takes the tranquil surroundings of a Hollins Pond to illuminate the big picture. A moment like Dillard's shows us that we can erase any mistakes we've made on the board of life and "bring us back to our careless senses." In this frame of mind we could "stalk" our prey intuitively as the predators we are and go for the kill. We would be like the weasel, never questioning ourselves or looking to other weasels for acceptance. We would make our way through life following our basic instincts, never worrying about tomorrow or lamenting yesterday. If we learned to trust our instincts we might never starve our spirits of what they need most--to live with a purpose. Annie Dillard says if we find our "calling" we must "seize it" and let it seize us. This is true if we want to be content with our being. We must give up as much as we're willing to get and drink what we crave until every pore of our imagination is filled. We should let our heart's desire exhaust us of what we thought was our purpose and let the blood of necessity run wildly through our veins.

Return to the Annie Dillard Discussion Page

Return to Mr. Sheftman's EWRT 1-A Page

updated 9/99