Reprinted by permission from A. Firstbrook
< The weasel is wild. Annie Dillard sees this in her encounter with a weasel at Hollins Pond. Dillard went to the pond "not so much to learn how to live as, frankly, to forget about it. " Yet, she went away from the pond that day with a new outlook on how to live, the outlook of a wild weasel. In her essay, "Living Like Weasels," she tells us of her surprise encounter with the weasel. Their eyes locked and it was just the two of them. The weasel, "ten inches long, thin as a curve" had "two black eyes [she] didn't see, anymore than you see a window." She was looking through his eyes into his brain, and he into hers. Dillard tells us, "He would have made a good arrowhead." And he did. He shot into her mind like an arrow and stuck there. She saw then, through the weasel, what it meant to be wild. The weasel does not set an alarm clock. He gets up as he pleases, for he is not a slave to a schedule as most humans are. The weasel lives by instinct. He finds his "one necessity" and goes for it, never analyzing the effects of his actions. He cannot, for he is driven not by choice but the instinct by which he lives. We see an example of this in the story of the eagle. The eagle attacked the weasel and the weasel fought back. The weasel, by instinct, bit the eagle's neck and held on, never letting go, even to his death. If the weasel lived by choice, as humans do, would he have gone after the eagle with such steely devotion? If he lived by choice as we do, he would have probably analyzed the situation, weighed the pros and cons. He would have realized that he would likely lose the battle and let go. Yet, it is this ceaseless dedication, this wildness, which is so attractive to Dillard. The weasel was true to his nature; he did not betray his instinct. His life was fulfilled.
There at the pond she did not learn how to live exactly like a weasel. She knows she cannot "suck warm blood, or hold her tail high" but she does wish to learn from and adapt some of the weasel's nature. She would like to learn something of the "purity of living in the physical sense and the dignity of living without bias or motive." As humans we make choices after evaluating the situation. If we don't go to work, we won't get paid, and won't be able to make the car payment. If I ask this guy out, he could say no, and I will have to face rejection. In our evaluation, we are influenced by our biases and motives. Someone who has faced rejection in the past may be less likely to take the chance in the future. If we have been raised to believe in order to be successful a person must have a college degree, our choice after high school of getting a job or going to school will be influenced by our current view of success. How much more might we be able to accomplish if we did not make analytical choices but found our purpose, our calling, and just went for it without the burden of memory or time?
There are times in our lives where we want something, or need something. It is our "one necessity," the thing that makes us feel alive. Do we go for it with all of our passion? Do we think about it, analyze it, and sometimes hold ourselves back? Fear of failure, fear of rejection or just plain laziness may stop us in our tracks. If only we could be more like the weasel who, once he goes for something, does not give up. In Dillard's essay, she tells us of a weasel who bit and held onto a naturalist's arm. For half a mile, the man carried the weasel, finally soaking him off in the water. The weasel did what instinct told it was necessary, for it lives as it was born to. As Dillard states, "A weasel doesn't 'attack' anything; a weasel lives as he is meant to, yielding at every moment to the perfect freedom of single necessity." It finds freedom in living by instinct, for it is living how it should. To learn to live as the weasel is attractive to Dillard because of the purity of its life. It lives everyday, fulfilling its reason for being.
Dillard "would like to learn, or remember, how to live." Did she once live like the weasel, with such perseverance, confidence, and lack of fear? As a child I would try anything once. I would put all my energy into going for whatever was calling to me. But as I get older, my experiences sometimes keep me from accomplishing all I would like to. I have been influenced by the world around me, acquired the fear of rejection and failure. I understand how my choices in life have consequences. I live my life everyday, making choices and analyzing the results they bring. I cannot, as the weasel, live purely by instinct. If only we could capture some of his energy and perseverance that instinct brings. Then we might find freedom from our learned fears.
If we as humans with our tendency to make biased choices could take this part of the weasel's nature and make it a part of us, not just for "sixty seconds" but for our lifetime, we might feel more fulfilled. We could find our "one necessity," our purpose, and go for it. We could "go for the throat" hanging on until we achieve our purpose. We could hold on to our calling like the weasel onto the eagle, never giving up. By hanging onto our "one necessity" with such uncompromising tenacity, we may discover the exhiliaration that only comes from living the life we were meant to live. Only then might we be released from our fears, biases and motives, living life as we should, wild as the weasel.
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